A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

  • -- Irvin S. Cobb 欧文·S·科布

女人也许有妙语连珠或妙笔生花,但她决不会嘲笑自己的缺点。

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I don't know who I touch and who I don't. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don't have any secrets. I don't know the reasons I've been so well received.

我不知道我碰过谁,也不知道我不碰谁。我努力让人们笑。我试着做一些能让我笑着长大的事情。我没有什么秘密。我不知道为什么我受到如此热烈的欢迎。

War is to man what maternity is to a woman. From a philosophical and doctrinal viewpoint, I do not believe in perpetual peace.

战争之于男人,犹如母亲之于女人。从哲学和教义的观点来看,我不相信永久和平。

Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.

几乎任何事情都能让我发笑,尤其是拿自己开涮。我永远不会承认我在任何地方都怕痒。

I was never a dangerous woman. I'm not the prissy blonde woman that could take your husband away.

我从来都不是一个危险的女人。我不是那种会把你丈夫带走的百里茜。