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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

  • -- Bob Hope 鲍勃·霍普

好消息是耶稣回来了。坏消息是他真的很生气。

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Comedian News

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Some of those stories in local newspapers are just as dull and boring as the stories that I get from on-line services, which are basically sort of straight news.

当地报纸上的一些报道和我从网上得到的报道一样枯燥乏味，基本上都是一些直接的新闻。

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You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

你认识的人中，只有你能确定正确的抚养孩子的方法吗?那些从来没有吃过的人。

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Here's the good news. If I realize that I'm insane, then I'm okay with it. I'm not dangerous insane.

这里有个好消息。如果我意识到我疯了，那我就没事了。我不是危险的疯子。

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Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

一切都是变化的。人们把喜剧演员当儿戏，把政客当儿戏。

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