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Sometimes I feel like I'm not only the engine but the caboose. I have to be in the front car and pull forward, and at the same time run around behind and push everybody along with me.

  • -- Sandra Lee 桑德拉李

有时我觉得我不仅是引擎，而且是车尾。我必须坐在前面的车里，向前开，同时在后面跑，把每个人都推到我的后面。

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Engine Feel Time

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It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great rents in the quotidian.

第一次欺骗并不难，因为被骗者没有抗体;由于没有受到怀疑的免疫，她忽视了迟到，接受荒谬的借口，允许最脆弱的修补来修补日常生活中的巨大裂缝。

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For a long time I thought I could deal with my anger and hostility on my own. But I couldn't. I denied that it had affected me, and yet I was so frantic on the inside with other people: I needed to be constantly reassured.

很长一段时间，我认为我可以独自处理我的愤怒和敌意。但我不能。我否认它影响了我，但我的内心却对其他人如此疯狂:我需要不断地得到安慰。

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I feel like a lot of the fundamental material, I've assimilated. So now the question is: Am I going to really get into my spiritual inheritance of music and really develop my abilities?

我觉得我吸收了很多基础材料。所以现在的问题是:我真的要继承音乐的精神并真正发展我的能力吗?

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I guess the two things I was most interested in were telescopes and steam engines. My father was an engineer on a threshing rig steam engine and I loved the machinery.

我想我最感兴趣的两件事是望远镜和蒸汽机。我父亲是一名打谷机蒸汽机的工程师，我喜欢这种机器。

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Right now, they feel they have lost their voice, and their miseries have increased since my departure.

现在，他们觉得自己失声了，自从我离开后，他们的痛苦增加了。

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