What’s said in silence is best viewed in darkness. I learned that while reading a bowl of Alphabet Soup.

沉默中说的话，在黑暗中才能看得清。我是在看一碗字母汤的时候学会的。

When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny.

当我在广播中说一些不真实的东西时，我的意思是它明显不真实。我想人们知道我只是在说些有理有据的话。或者是为了搞笑。

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

当我两岁的时候，我真的很焦虑，因为我的年龄在一年内翻了一番。我想，如果这种情况继续下去，到我六岁的时候，我就九十岁了。

When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.

当我还是个孩子的时候，我觉得自己不合群，因为——这真的很傻，我可能不应该这么说，但是，我不觉得有什么好笑的。所以我经常回家，对着我的妈妈和继父哭，我觉得没什么好笑的。我不能笑。

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

当我长大的时候，我一直想成为一个人。现在我意识到我应该说得更具体些。

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began at the age of eighty to learn Greek. I am amazed no longer. Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.

当我年轻的时候，我对普鲁塔克所说的老卡托在八十岁时开始学希腊语感到惊讶。我不再感到惊讶了。老年人愿意承担年轻人逃避的任务，因为这些任务耗时太长。

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.

当我年轻的时候，我被称为一个坚定的个人主义者。我五十多岁的时候，人们认为我很古怪。我做着和说着和我当时做的一样的事情，我被贴上了衰老的标签。

When I was your age, television was called books.

我像你这么大的时候，电视叫书。

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."

今天早上我醒来时，我女朋友问我:“你睡得好吗?”我说:“不，我犯了一些错误。”

When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.

当一个女孩说她想成为福利的朋友时，我总是问她是否包括牙科保险。

When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do you believe you are going to enjoy talking with this woman up into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory, but most of the time you are together will be devoted to conversation.

结婚的时候，我们应该问问自己:你相信在你年老的时候，你会喜欢和这个女人聊天吗?婚姻中其他的一切都是短暂的，但是你们在一起的大部分时间都是用来聊天的。

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful.

当幽默可以和忧郁交替时，一个人就成功了，但当同样的事情同时有趣和忧郁时，那就太好了。

When marrying, one should ask oneself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this woman into your old age?

结婚的时候，应该问自己这样一个问题:你相信你能和这个女人很好的交谈到你老的时候吗?

When old age shall this generation waste, Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st, 'Beauty is truth, truth beauty, - that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

当我们这一代人的老年化为乌有时，你将仍然是人类的朋友，与我们同甘共苦，你对他说:‘美就是真，真就是美，这是你们在世上所知道的，也是你们所需要知道的。

When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.

当我们的记忆超过了我们的梦想，我们就变老了。