In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

从理论上讲，理论和实践是没有区别的。实际上是有的。

Incongruity, they say, is one of the main ingredients of humor. Maybe it's because everybody can feel superior to me. I honestly don't know.

他们说，不协调是幽默的主要成分之一。也许是因为每个人都觉得比我优越。我真的不知道。

Insult is powerful. Insult begets both rage and humor and often at the same time.

侮辱是强大的。侮辱往往同时引发愤怒和幽默。

Intelligent men are dangerous.

聪明人是危险的。

Irony of the day: arthritis medication with a cap that old people can't get off, because of their arthritis.

具有讽刺意味的一天:关节炎药物与一顶帽子，老年人无法下车，因为他们的关节炎。

Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some kind of bonus ?

这种化学物质的余味是人们吃热狗的原因，还是一种奖励?

It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.

我突然想到，辛娜平静而正常的举止掩盖了一个彻头彻尾的疯子。

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

不管房间的温度是多少，它总是室温。

It had better be. It doesn't do much when it's soft.

最好是这样。当它是软的时候，它不会做什么。

It has always surprised me how little attention philosophers have paid to humor, since it is a more significant process of mind than reason. Reason can only sort out perceptions, but the humor process is involved in changing them.

哲学家们对幽默的关注之少总是让我感到惊讶，因为幽默是一种比理性更重要的思维过程。理性只能理清认知，但幽默的过程涉及到改变它们。

It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I'm right.

当我知道自己是对的时候，却错了，这让我很生气。

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

生活中从不道歉是一个好习惯。正确的人不需要道歉，而错误的人会利用他们。

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame.

如果你不在乎谁受到指责，你所能取得的成就是惊人的。

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

在我们的国家里，由于上帝的仁慈，我们拥有三种说不出的宝贵的东西:言论自由、良心自由，以及从不实践这三种东西的谨慎。

It is easier to disintegrate an atom than a prejudice.

分解一个原子比分解一种偏见容易。