Men live by intervals of reason under the sovereignty of humor and passion.

人们生活在幽默和激情的支配下，有时是理性的。

Mirrors should think longer before they reflect.

镜子在反射之前应该考虑得更久。

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history.

大多数人都有一种近乎无限的能力，认为一切都是理所当然的。人不能从历史的教训中学到很多东西，这是所有历史教训中最重要的一条。

Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

大多数人都想摆脱诱惑，但又希望与诱惑保持联系。

My advice for a person who's just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, Flap your arms...faster.

我给刚从摩天大楼的窗户上摔下来的人的建议是，拍打你的手臂……动作要快一些。

My best definition of a nerd: someone who asks you to explain an aphorism.

我对书呆子最好的定义是:让你解释一句格言的人。

My capacity for happiness," he added, "you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first.

“我快乐的能力，”他补充说，“你可以不先把火柴拿出来就装进火柴盒里。

My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map.

我爸爸常说人生是一段旅程，但有人把地图弄丢了。

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

我的医生告诉我不要再吃四个人的私密晚餐了。除非还有三个人。

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony.

我父亲很风趣，即使他的幽默总是带着讽刺的阴暗面。

My formula for life is very simple: in the morning, wake up; at night, go to sleep. In between I try and occupy myself as best I can.

我的人生准则很简单:早晨醒来;晚上，睡觉。在这段时间里，我尽我所能地充实自己。

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

我的朋友有个孩子。我把他发出的所有声音都录了下来，以后我可以问他是什么意思。

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism.

如果我继续这样逃避现实，我的脑袋会爆炸的。

My life is part humor, part roses, part thorns.

我的生活一半是幽默，一半是玫瑰，一半是荆棘。

My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon.

我对你的爱会像酸奶做成的云一样遮蔽阳光。我希望你带了一个勺子。